Poacher Get Rich!
​
15th April, 2014 - Mukambi, Kafue, Zambia.
There is no substance so unsung,
As the mighty elephant’s ponderous dung!
You pass it a hundred times a day,
In the African bush, along your way.
But seldom, if ever do you look down,
And if you did, you’d probably frown,
At the grassy mound of fresh-made poo,
You’d hold your nose and say “Woo-hoo”!
But your misplaced and unfair disdain,
Would reveal your ignorance of the plain,
For the generous dropping of the herd,
Is not just any ordinary turd!
No, if you only knew the truth,
Of the endless uses of this poop,
You’d never look at it again,
And not see treasure locked therein.
Thousands of creatures make it their house,
From the maggot to the tiny louse,
The dung beetle rolls a take-away,
For leisurely use another day.
The baboon is not alone to feed,
On the myriad undigested seeds,
The hornbill also pecks his fill,
While mushrooms thrive on the little hill.
Hundreds of different kinds of worms,
And some less savoury types of germs,
Within those grassy walls do dwell,
But they cannot its secrets tell!
No, only a human truly wise,
Can see through this astute disguise,
That the unassuming pile of drop,
Is not a useless giant's plop.
But will bend, and pick it up, and dare,
To read the magic held in there,
In the mass of fibres swirling round,
Through each and every steaming mound!
Oh great the man who would take it home,
And pound those fibres on a stone,
To make them flat, and then to roll,
Through cylinders, then dry, and fold.
To make a paper, rough but strong,
Without residual whiff, or pong,
Upon which to write for reams and reams,
Of his heart’s most wild and reckless dreams!
Or this amazing product light,
And burn a while in fire bright,
Then take the embers in a pail,
And attach to any vehicle’s tail.
The fragrant, thus-released aroma,
Sends tze-tze flies into a coma!
From deadly smoke into bush they'll dive,
And guarantee a bite-less drive.
A million more rewards to reap,
Await the man who dares to leap,
Into the innovative world of poo,
Just think what it could do for you!
Hey poacher, seriously, won’t you see?
Forget about the ivory!
I’ll whisper just a little hint,
On how to quickly make a mint!
Imagine! You could be the first,
To take advantage of the burst,
From a rumbling elephant’s behind,
That stuff into a powder grind.
Then package it, do not be slack,
And as an aphrodisiac,
With droopy willies as your target,
Flood the massive world-wide market!
As good as Viagra any day,
It will make you stay and stay and stay,
On top of your top-most game forever,
And the supply won’t dwindle, ever!
It will not soon run out as such,
Tomorrow there will be as much,
As you have bagged today, you’ll see,
An infinite amount of it, and free!
Whilst you protect the wondrous source,
Of this as yet untapped resource,
The beautiful majestic beast,
The bountiful giver of this feast.
But WOE, if he should go extinct,
Then no more poo, come on, just THINK!
For now the Fate is held by YOU,
Of the mighty elephant, and his poo.